Isn’t a girl with Btech degree a little over qualified for wife’s post?

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Shaadi time!! Well there have been a lot of marriages going around lately. This got me thinking about marriages in India. Actually more than that  it got me thinking about all the struggle parents go through to get a girl married. Yeah no matter how much you think a girl and a guy are equal, but the fact is they are not!!

Girls are trained from their childhood to serve a man. They are prepared and brainwashed to join this marriage institution even if they wish to or not. Yeah I do agree that most of this has changed with time, but still there are people who did not change totally. People feel that a girl’s marriage is the biggest responsibility in a man’s life. Just because he feels that it’s his duty to protect his daughter, when he grows old he need someone else to transfer this duty to. For this he needs some guy well qualified. Of course a well qualified guy will also have some specifications.

Now to get their daughter married they do what not! Recently I met a girl and her father. And this girl is younger than me. As she’s younger I thought I could tell her more about further studies and what more opportunities she had. So, I told her that she could go for further studies cause once you discontinue you might not be able to get a chance to study again or you might loose interest yourself.! She was obviously scared if her parents might agree or not. So, I took the liberty to ask her dad for her. The answer he gave was shocking.! He said Btech degree was enough for his girl to get married and so she had no other reason to study further!

This got me thinking!! Why do people need Btech degree for marriage? It’s not like they teach something in Btech about marriage or relationships. Just a high school degree would be sufficient to help kids with fundamentals. Then why does the guy need Btech for? Then I did a little research and found that they make girls study because if in future in some case(if the guy dies or they have financial trouble or if he wants her to work after marriage) the girl might have to do a job to support her family. Then this btech degree would come in handy.

I was stunned!!  For some situation in future they kill all the ambitions and interests of a girl. Make her study something that she has no idea of or interest in it what so ever!! Probably spoil her career, shatter her hopes and dreams for what?? For some day that might never even come!! Pathetic isn’t it??

How come can they be so sure, that just because she has some Btech degree she will get a job for sure?? Well that’s a puzzle yet to be solved!! Is there some other reason behind it?? or is it just stupidity ??

Hope to know one fine day..!!

 

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It’s damn hard to be a real woman.!

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Being a woman, is not an easy task..!! A man cannot do things which a woman can by default..! World can never be complete without a woman.!And I’m not a feminist..!

Well the above three statements did make me sound like one.!But let me explain myself more clearly. Well you might be thinking that I might just be making usual statements like there are many things which a women can do and men can’t.! Haha I know I know, first thing what you can think of is being pregnant and going through terrible and horrifying pain.! They can dance in five inch heels and still smile, they can  guess easily what’s going on in other person’s mind.! They can cry and keep worrying if their make up was ok.! They can keep smiling when they feel like shit on the inside.!They can keep talking like forever.! ;) Blah, blah, blah..!Well most of that was true though, but that’s actually not the hard part being a woman..! Those are just some things that women keep doing and men don’t.! Most of them are stupid too.!

The hardest part of being a women is being herself..! Confused again?? Well, it’s like this.. Woman basically is scared of being herself.! I don’t say that all women are this way.. but most of them who live their life to the fullest did undergo “transformation” . When someone talks about an ideal woman the things that come to their mind are “giving”, “sharing”, “loving” etc… So, it’s like a lot of expectation is associated with a woman.  She can deserve the word  accomplished only when she meets other’s expectations..!This is because the thinking of a woman by default is such. Women find happiness or satisfaction in giving. They suppress their hopes, expectations, needs etc.. just to show other’s that they care for them. They think that showing that the other person means more to them, would strengthen their relationship.  They are scared that they might fail at some point if they hold back. That people will no longer like her if she’s not giving enough or not like how others expect her to be. Hence, people blindly think that she has the capacity of giving on and on and on..!

With all the burden of living up to expectations, spreading unlimited love and affection and all the mumbo-jumbo, it is hard to keep her inner self alive for much long.! They get too caught up on making others happy.!  To make someone happy you need to know them, understand them, love them, and keep thinking whats going on in their mind, what would they possibly want? A man can never keep guessing or have that much patience to try and make others happy (but yeah they would give in their best efforts when they are given a clear statement) as he can be a little insensitive at times. That is the true reason I think being a true woman is hard ..!

It is true woman feels happy when she makes others happy.!But she finds true happiness when someone really acknowledges that..! To all the women, I’d just like to say keep in touch with your inner self too.! It is as important as breathing is to stay alive.! So stay alive, have fun, spread love.! That’s the perfect combo to be happy.!

Learnt it one fine day..!

Change..!

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Is it ok?? People usually say that never be with a person who’s trying to change you. Who doesn’t appreciate who you are. But what if the person is right. May be all he’s trying to do is help you . To show you a better way..!! Or is he trying to change you the way he likes you better? Is it ok to change for someone? I guess it all depends on what u feel like on the inside. It’s all on how you think. If the change is good and you feel there is nothing wrong about it then why not..! There is no point of being stubborn n resisting the change.! But if you are not really comfortable then I guess its time to let the person know.!Learnt it one fine day.!

Expectations:to be had or not.!!

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Don’t know why but I get really bright ideas at night for my blog. May be that’s the time I get to think about myself..! Naa..!! I just keep thinking to fall asleep..!! Hehe. Now coming to the point I was thinking about expectations.! Well as we know and they say, give more expect less.! If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed.!So, this made me think is expectation such a bad thing? When ever I saw people who really cared for each other fight, was mostly because one of them expected and felt disappointed.!And  this does not apply only for couples its also true for friends,siblings,between parents and children basically between any two people.I actually thought life would be  a lot easier when  people lower their expectations..! I didn’t really understand why do people expect more and more everyday.! When a person is doing his duty fine, being a good friend, a good partner or a good parent following the basic guidelines what he’s meant to then why expect more and cry.! Is it not enough that he’s fulfilling his duty.!?But u know what..?? Sometimes it really isn’t enough.!! It is easy to look at someone and say you are over reacting you need to control your emotions.! You can only feel the pain when you are in that person’s place.

But then what is the point of having a relationship when u can’t even expect ?? What’s the point of continuous giving when you don’t get something in return? Relation should be a win-win thing right.! So like our elders told us not to expect.!I actually tried to follow that for a change. I tried to master my emotions. Whenever I felt that I’m expecting n feeling disappointed I tried to block my emotion.! I told my self that I won’t let anyone hurt me cause I have my strings attached to them. I will always try giving, because I basically feel really happy in giving and making others happy.! I kept giving and giving and giving..! Whenever I heard a voice inside me saying I deserved some love and care too.. I just blocked it.!In this process of giving I started feeling sad.! That was not usual me.! The real me always feels happy to do something for others. Then why was I developing this negativity?? And then negativity turned into frustration. Frustration that I was only the one trying to make things work, that I’m stupid to care about everyone and people don’t even have time to call back.! And  slowly frustration turned to disappointment that people can never change no matter how much you try.! As girls have mood swings I too had one n kept crying and crying and crying.! Usually crying is kind of my way of releasing pressure.! But no matter how much I cried that feeling would never fade.!

Then it suddenly occurred to me what’s the point of crying? I couldn’t really do anything about my problem. People with whom I had problem with probably didn’t even know I have issues with them  .! So basically it’s not something with which I could deal with or fix it myself. It’s a void that kept growing and I needed their help to fill it. So, I decided that I won’t keep calm anymore.! It’s not a crime to expect.! We build relationships to fulfill our expectations..!That is how we keep growing, learning and making our relationships even more beautiful.!! All you have to do is ask..!!

So people, all I wanted to say was keep expecting, keep loving and keep giving..!! You deserve it all..!! Sometimes its good to think about ourselves too.! You can keep others happy only when you are happy on the inside.! I don’t really agree that suppressing your feeling would do any good to you or your relationship except could just make u feel more ignored on the inside,which keeps getting worse with time.Trust me, when it come out, it’s one of the worst things you can say to them. Let it all out and see how happy you feel when you get what you want.!Keep expecting people( just see that you don’t over do it).! Hehe :P

Learnt it one fine day.!